Updates:

1. I'm still recording and adding new demos to my band site

http://www.myspace.com/abbyfisher (if you're interested)

2. Boys. I'll give you the whole story. Bear with me.

I ended my "relations" with this one guy Andrew who lived in Fredrick. Things just weren't working out so well. What with the distance, and some "issues" I had... haha In any case, it wasn't working and we were both pretty mutual about the whole thing. Next thing I know, a good friend of mine, we'll call him the number "2," comes on to me basically rationalizing his feelings to me and saying that he feels like if he doesn't take a chance on it, he'll just end up regretting not doing anything later. I had always sort of had feelings for him, but never acted on them. He even asked me out once in high school, but I said no because he was on a lot of things in those days... He isn't now. Which is good for him. I'm happy he decided to stop. Anyway, at that point I figure, "Okay, we're dating." We hang out after that, and things are looking good. I'm happy with him, he seems happy with me, we're both happy, right? Well... no. After three days of this "bliss" im hanging out with 2 and his friend "1" - that makes me "3" (this'll be important later). So 1 gets up to go to the bathroom and 2 is next to me on the couch. He turns to me and says "I don't think it's a good idea..." And I say "What's not a good idea?" And he says "Dating..." I just give him this blank stare because that totally threw me. I didn't see it coming at all. 1 starts to come back from the bathroom and 2 says "Do you want to talk about this outside?" I say, "yes" and we go out on the porch.

I couldn't even look at him. I was just staring at my feet. It was cold, and I was just confused, and getting a bit upset by this point because I couldn't understand how anyone could just waste something like that and put the whole thing to rest after only 3 days. So to the best of my ability I'll tell you what he told me.

Basically, he told me that he didn't want to ruin a perfectly good friendship, he could only ever really see me as a "friend", he didn't want to hurt me, he said I'd end up getting frustrated with him and that would just be "who he was" (I'm already frustrated with you, babe.), everything after that that he said was kind of lost in my mind because I was so confused and it just felt so surreal at the time. Because that was the first time I had ever been "dumped."

Anyway, he finishes his rant and then turns to me and say "Do you have anything to say?"

I look up, just say "Ok." and go inside and sit on the couch.

He comes in, sits on the couch on the far wall, and then 2 and 1 start talking again.

I get up, say "I have school tomorrow. I'm gonna go." and then I just leave without even looking at either of them.

When I got home, I felt kinda bad for just leaving like that, so I call him to apologize and say that I feel like he's being stupid about all of this (which I wanted to say on the porch but couldn't) and that he didn't even give it a fair chance. I mean, come on. 3 days??? Wth. So I call him. He answers. I lose it. I can't even talk. I just start crying, say "I can't talk right now..." and hang up on him.

I gain composure. Call again, say what I wanted to in the above paragraph, and he says, "Abby, I'd just end up using you for sex, and I don't want to do that to you. It's not about chances..." with that I'm just pissed and I hang up on him again.

Two days pass and he calls to ask me how I'm doing. Omg. I'm a total mess, right? I can't go on... I might just kill myself... NOT. So yeah... I get over it, still think he's an idiot, and get on with life. He still wants to be friends, hang out, etc. Which I'm up for, I just felt weird about it since now all I wanted to do was kiss him, etc. That feeling passes, though.

After that, we did hang out. Only, he's still playing the flirt card while we're watching movies and stuff. Don't tell me we can't be more than friends, and then hold my hand, play with my hair, etc. What a hypocrite. At first I kind of enjoyed it, because I thought maybe that meant he re-thought everything and realized he was being stupid. But no... Wrong again. Then I started feeling like maybe he was the type of guy to use girls all the time and I stopped flirting back.

There's my story. Now any time I hang out with 2, 1 is there, so I'm a third wheel. Which is...gay. Last time he didn't even tell me that 1 was going to be there. But whatever... boys... psh... lol

3. School

I dropped my accounting class, not a moment too soon because I didn't even need it. I have a 3.0, which is awesome because now I get to keep my scholarship. I can't wait to graduate, anddddd that's all I want to say about school. Haha

4. Friends

Lots of people coming home for the holidays. Very exciting because some of them I haven't seen in months. I missed them. And now we're having a reunion! Woo!

5. Concerts

Lots of those coming up. Some past too. I went and saw Jimmy Eat World again on the 30th? of October. This month I'm seeing Michael W. Smith, and in December I'll be seeing Spitalfield, the Graduate, and Hot Rod Circuit (their last tour... *cries*) - I saw Hot Rod one other time before this one, and they were nothing short of amazing. I saw the Graduate at Warped Tour this past summer, and they were really good, I've never seen Spitalfield but I do like some of their music. And I've never seen MWS.

6. Work

I'm still currently out of a job. Which sucks. I have no money. Lots of people owe me money but I'm not one to hound people about it. I might bring it up now and then, but I'm never like "Give me my money you freak!" lol

Sooooo.... yeah.

I think that's good for now.

Something else that bothers me:

Two words: High waters.

Guys, or girls. Never ever ever ever wear them. They're a poor excuse for long capris, and they insult jeans that look good on people everywhere. Nobody wants to see what color socks you're wearing. Especially if they come up to your knees. Ew. Come on people. Buy jeans that are long enough for your legs. Spare us the trouble of having to cringe at the sight of where your sock stops and leg begins (if you're wearing ankle length socks). That's definitely something that bothers me. Especially when it's like, not intended. Who would mean to buy jeans that are just long enough when you're standing up, but an Amish peep show when you're sitting down? Come on.

Running

I started running again in the morning. I'm excited about it. I'm hoping to keep it up this time, so wish me luck.

PS - Brand New's album "The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me" is an amazing album to run to.

When people like the sound of their own voice...

That is another pet peeve of mine. People who talk their heads off, and you feel like they must talk to themselves when they're alone just because they like talking so much. This one girl was walking down the hallway, and shes talking, nay, yelling across the hall to her friend.

Annoying girl: Hey I'll be right back...blablablablabla...I need to blablablablabla...and after that blablablablabla...I also need to go potty!

...stop right there. Who SAYS that??? "I need to go potty"???? Holy crap. A college student sounds like a 5 year old.... Strike two.

Other girl: Ok, me too.
Annoying girl: Ok...blablablablabla I'll be right back.

She says "potty" about 6 more times when she comes back, and I'm just sitting there, annoyed, thinking "what is the world coming to?" When I know it's already gone... So...

Another story. Just as random. Might be pointless to you, but in the actual situation, it would've annoyed you all the same.

My sister. Wow. She loves to talk. She throws in hand motions to elaborate the things she says, but her voice clearly takes care of all the emphasis she'd ever need to cover 10 conversations...

I drive her to college in the mornings because she doesn't have her license. Strike one.

She talks the WHOLE ride to her boyfriend Bryan, or just asks me stupid questions. Strike two.

She turns down my music if she can't talk over it. Strike three.

She's out.

Anyway... you get the idea. I can't stand people who just talk because they love the sound of their own voice. Stupid questions, phrases that include the grammar and vocabulary of a 5 year old... yeah. Anything like that... Drives me crazy...

The Office: Season 3

So... What's my favorite show on television right now? The Office. It's completely hilarious, and probably one of the best written shows ever. Today, Season 3 came out on DVD. So what do I do? I get chips and dip and I have a marathon. With myself. :-/

It's definitely funnier to watch with other people, but what am I supposed to do when everyone I know is at school or at work? Oh well... still funny. Even if I am watching it alone.

I haven't seen any of season three, so I'm extremely excited. :-)

Boys...

Do they all just make it a point to have the worst timing in the world?? Why do you wait so long to say and do things you want to until it's like, too late to? Or not really an option? Granted, girls do it too. I think it just comes up more with guys... I don't understand it... Oh well. I guess I never really will. :-P

Another Update

So I'm going to be performing the music special at my church on September 23rd. I'm feeling a little anxious about it. Number one, because I don't know what to do, and number 2, because I doubt that Adam will sing with me... I was hoping to make it more of a duet than a solo because I freak myself out if I have to do anything on a stage, or anywhere for that matter, by myself. If you have any suggestions please let me know. I may end up writing something, but I don't know if i'll have the time for a project like that... In any case, I'm a little nervous. Three whole weeks before I even do it.

Also, apparently my left hand is allergic to silver. Maybe just this one finger. It keeps on getting irritated any time I wear my silver ring on my middle finger and I don't know why... my other hand is chill with silver. So whatever...

Goals for the near future:

- Save up a ton of money so I can afford stuff
- Make up blueprints and construction plans for my dark room
- Buy an SLR
- Take a ton of pictures to build my portfolio
- Take up more painting jobs for money on the side
- Get straight As
- Clean my room (this one always gets started but never really finished)
- Buy the third season of The Office and have a really big marathon
- Start running again
- Get my oil changed
- Hang out with people as often as possible
- Get out more
- Find out what's in Ohio...or isn't in Ohio...
- Set priorities
- Learn to play this stupid song on guitar...
- Record more demos
- Write a book about my life. haha

Update

I'm gonna get back into doing this. It definitely relieves my stress. I like being able to just spill out whats on my mind and not really care about who's reading it, who cares, and why. lol

The fall semester started yesterday...nothing spectacular there.

I had a really awesome dream last night - I was really dedicated to my music, touring, and had an album out. That was exciting. I woke up excited about it. And it makes me want to actually do it. I probably wont... but I really really want to. haha

You know what else I want? One of those DJ sound mixing tables. Those are really fun to play with. My friend Dan has one, and he showed me how a lot of it works. Kinda. I should play on it some more before I actually buy one, but it's definitely something that interests me. I make playlists all the time. Timed, themed, sequenced, conversational, paced, or even a story line. I can do it. One time, I made a 12 part series of playlists. All organized by key, then by subject matter, and then carefully ordered to flow from one to the next and so on. Even if that meant breaking songs apart or just taking pieces of one, and stringing it on another one. Yeah. OCD. I know...

Other than that, things are pretty good... I'm pretty broke, but I'm used to it. I used to have a lot of money, but now I have a car... Bla... When I have the money though, I'm going to buy three things:

1) A digital and 35 mm SLR
2) A mixing table
3) Happiness

Jimmy Eat World

So it's been a while. Thought I'd put up an update.

I'm going to see my absolute favorite band in the entire WORLD on July 28th, 2007 in Knoxville, TN. Why so far? Because it's worth it. haha That, and it's the closest they're coming to MD this month. After July they're going back overseas to tour in Europe and other countries. Sucks.

I'm also really excited because it's their pre-Chase the Light tour - their new album comes out in September, so they'll probably be playing some new material that nobodys heard before. :-D

I'll be leaving with my sister on the 27th, probably pretty early, to drive there. Yeah. Drive. Eww. It should be fun though. I love adventure.

The 26th I'm going to warped tour with some of the greates people I know. That should be fun too. So I have a music-filled week coming up. It's gonna be pretty intense. Wish me luck. :-)

New room!

So I got a new queen-sized bed, a headboard, and I reinvented my room entirely. It looks pretty good so far. I still need to hang a few pictures, and re-arrange a few random things here and there, but for the most part it's coming together really nicely.

I'll put up pictures eventually.

Class is still taking over my life, along with work. But this summer is gonna be filled with a ton of things to occupy my time, so I doubt i'll have a ton of time to post more blogs than usual. So yeah. Have a nice day.

Thought I'd give a quick update. :-)

Terms of Endearment

I really don't know what it is, but I can't stand it when people call me by an endearing term. "Baby" "Sweety" "Honey" "Love" - any of them. It bothers me to no end.

I think that maybe I have some kind of inferiority complex about it. I see "baby" as belittling. Like I'm a weak-minded, naiive girl who can't think for herself without a male counterpart. That's the feminist in me I guess. I mean, I know that no one ever means it that way. And generally people call me those things to be nice, or polite, or whatever else. But I feel like I don't need that comfort. It's not comforting to me.

A friend of mine was helping me through a rough patch. And he wouldn't stop calling me by those things. It was his way of "comforting me" or "being there" or something. But all it did was tick me off. I ended up telling him so, and I hope I didn't hurt his feelings, because he's a good friend. But when everything is kind of complicated, and out of whack, I'd rather just be called by my name. I don't need the sweet talk. Just give it to me straight up.

Another thing about it all, is that I associate it with some kind of romantic or relationship status. When my relations with someone are far from, or no where close to a "relationship" or anything in terms of romance, that's just going to make me uncomfortable. I hate discomfort. Especially when it's unnecessary.

But really. I don't need it. I don't want it. I'm weird, I know. But just call me Abby. Please. lol

My Favorite Flower

Ok, so I figured out what my favorite flower is: the Chrysanthemum, daisy: meaning fidelity. In some countries of Europe and Spain, chrysanthemums are symbolic of death and are only used during funerals to put on the grave. Wow, not a pleasant fact... I may re-evaluate my favorite flower. Ha, no just kidding. It's still my favorite.

They were titled the official flower in the state of Chicago in 1966. It's also the flower of November. (Good old Wikipedia) It's in the daisy family, so I wasn't really far off when I said that my favorite flower was a daisy (before today).

The ones I like best look like the ones in the picture. I really like the brighter colored ones, like the magenta, or orange. I found that out when I bought my mom some flowers on mother's day - it was a bouquet of chrysanthemums. I bought them for her, specifically, but only because I liked them so much. ;-)

It's funny though, I never pictured myself as a flower person. I thought they were frivilous and tacky because it would be a waste of money to just buy something that's already dead, you know? But now I think I rather like them. I wouldn't want them all the time, but every now and then would be nice. :-)

National Health Care: Solution to a Brighter Tomorrow?

National Health care is a system in which direct provision of health care and other services given by the government is not required because within the system, every resident of a geographic area is mandated to have health insurance. Sounds pretty great, don't you agree? It ensures the health of all citizens and benefits the entire nation economically because we'll all have to spend less on health care if it's a set amount.

"In market-based systems...the mandate is coupled with a private insurance market. In government the mandate is coupled with a government agency that pays for a wide range of health benefits" (Wikipedia, 14 May 2007).

There are a lot of countries worldwide that use this system of national health care: Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Japan, Russia, South Korea, Spain, and the United Kingdom to name a few.

Although this is such a widespread and growing idea, the United States fails to recognize the importance of such an implementation on our current system. The reason is simple: they haven't come up with an ideal plan for opperating it. Sure, it's a good idea, and it would definitely be a nice thing for people who are sick and just need a simple procedure or treatment to be able to go in scotch free and come out feeling fine. However, what about the people who need major surgery? Triple-bipass? A heart, or lung, or liver transplant? What happens to them? I'll tell you: they get put on a waiting list, and might just die in the process of signing up.

Patient: "Oh, I need a new liver. This one isn't working, and I think I could die any second"
Doctor: "That's too bad... Just put your name on the waiting list among the others and we'll see when we can get to you"

I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like such a great scenario.

The idea itself, and the system works. And it could potentially work for a place like the United States, but there's no way we could do it any time soon, just because of our current system and our government. Their solution for everything is to throw money at it. Go deeper into debt. More funding. Etc.

What happens to the medical students who realize that because national health care is in effect, that they only get a certain amount of money, and they need to make the most of it. People are going to stop trying to develop new medicines. They'll want patients to keep coming in for old ones that don't work as well so that they make more money. What happens when they all realize that it's not worth going the extra mile to treat people? They're all going to be about the money. Not your health. This is where a nationalized health care plan would go totally wrong in my opinion, which is why it needs to be handled very seriously. I just think that nationalized health care is going to lead to poor performance on our physicians parts.

Several states are already implementing nationalized systems for semi-national health care: California, Maine, Pennsylvania and Vermont are a few of them.

So for now, we can hope that some day the United States can adapt some system that relates to the idea of nationalized health care, but I truely think that it's not a very likely outcome, and it would be close to impossible for us to actually pull off. Accurately. Something would go horribly wrong, and I think the ultimate outcome would be chaotic.

It's a nice idea, and I'm a lot of other countries use it. As for the United States, I might have to laugh a bit at that idea. (heh)

Intro to Graphic Design: Day 1

So today was my first taste of my graphic design class for the May semester. It's only a 3 week course, and the class is every single day. Intense? We shall see.

In any case, I'm actually pretty excited about it. It's definitely in my field: photoshop, illustrator, and some other program I've only heard of. But I'm pretty good with photoshop, and I've briefly experimented with illustrator. So I really like the idea of all the design aspects and techniques involved in stuff.

The only let down, really, if I can call it one, is that only 2 students (including myself) are actually Mac users. Everyone else is new to it. It's not to say that it will take them long at all, but I was a little frustrated at the professor having to go through every little step to get through things. And then there's this girl next to me (here we go again...) who seems technology challenged. She kept hitting the "eject disc" button on the keyboard, and wondering why the disk drive opened every time she did. (Hmm...I wonder...)

Anyway, this won't be too bad, I hope. After this though, my summer is REALLY gonna start.

Someone take me to a party or something where I don't know anyone. lol I can get social pretty quick these days. ;-)

A Bad Day Getting Worse

This has really been a day for emotional meltdowns. And letdowns for that matter. I had this huge presentation all set up for the Mother's Day service in church this morning. I even had a backup disk in case the first one didn't work. What I didn't plan on happening was the sound totally kirking out and not working at all.

I was thoroughly disgusted at the whole issue. I know there was no way it was anyone's fault, but I was pretty upset the entire time. I literally cried probably the whole service over it. It wasn't enough that I had spent so much time on it, but that it was specifically for Mother's Day. It would've been the perfect touch, you know?

Anyway...I'm bummed about the whole thing. They're showing it next week, but it won't be the same. What can ya do?

Mother's Day

My mom is so hard to shop for. She generally goes out and buys things she needs/wants when she sees it, or as soon as she realizes that it's something she needs/wants. So this year, when she was about to buy something for herself, I forced her to put it back, and said, "No Mom, Mother's Day is coming up."

Not doing anything extreme this year...it's not like we do anything "extreme" any other year. But in any case, we're just going out to dinner, and then they always do something at church on Sunday morning for it. I made a video of all the children and young adults saying why they love their mom, and put music underneath it. Not just any music, the kind of music that just forces tears from your eyes the second it starts. Needless to say, it's gonna be pretty emotional, and I made sure of it. I even tested the final product on my mom. She was crying about 2 minutes in. And it's 15 minutes long. haha

So appreciate your moms. I hope you all have one. :-/ But in any case, they do a lot for us, and went through a lot for us. I won't turn this blog into a sappy hallmark card, but just go out of your way to do something nice for her tomorrow. Anything, really. Doesn't take much.

Feeling Strangely Fine

Okay so the sickness is wearing, im 200% better than I was 4 days ago, and I'm soooo happy that this semester is finally over! Woo!!! Well, I do have a May class, and that starts up this week... bummer... but other than that, things are really looking up right now. I'm hanging out with people more often, seeing more of everyone, and getting out there and just having fun. It's really great.

In July I'm going on a road trip with my best friend Adam, and my sister Hannah. That is totally going to be amazing. I'm going to knock off so many things from my list of things to do before I die, so I might just die in the process. haha no, not really. But I'm really excited about it. We might even tour along the way or something, and hand out demos, or just try to find small scale venues to play at. The end destination is going to be San Diego. It'll be a little hard to accomplish all this in only 10 days, but I'm pretty sure we can make it all work out. ;-)

Work is looking up too. I'm the last key carrier in the store right now, so basically everyone's being really nice to me because they want to keep me there. lol I'm totally gonna take this for all it's worth too. I won't let them pull me into anything I don't want to do. But it's awesome because they're all like kissing my feet now. haha not that much. But there's a definite shift in perception these days around the store. I feel like they all respect me now, and they don't give me any of the crap I used to go through there. Not that it was really that big a deal, but stuff used to just piss me off about all that because sometimes they can all just be so hypocritical. It's definitely nice to be appreciated there though. I came in sick the one day, and I couldn't talk. They sent me home and asked me to take the rest of the week to myself and just come in early on Friday to make up for it. How awesome is that? lol

Other than that, I'm looking forward to vacations, and going out on the weekends, and all this planning that's already in progress. I'm psyched! There will be tons of photos. Which reminds me, I'm getting more and more into photography too. Just like setting up shots, and taking really good ones. I'll be taking a photography course next semester. That makes me happy too.

Give me a call. You're sure to catch me in a good mood. :-)

Losing touch

So for the past two days, I've been highly medicated for my sore throat and sinus problem. It's making me kind of out of sinc with the rest of the world, and I'm having trouble concentrating on anything. This blog too.

Anyway, this should be interesting for finals. I have my second hardest tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.

Since I've totally lost interest in this all together, I'll leave it at the fact that I'm really really out of it, and will be for about a week or so.

It's gonna be a good day...I hope.

Today I'm going on a venture to find a new job. Or atleast get applications or something. I didn't really want to go by myself, but nobody's home, and I don't know who isn't busy. I don't like bugging people either. It's weird. I love it when people call me, but whenever I want to do something with someone else, I can't bring myself to just call them. lol Maybe I should stop that. It's silly.

Anyway...

I don't know exactly where I'm going yet, or where I want to go. I have a few ideas, but nothing imparticular. I'm basically up for anything at this point.

The offset in all of this is that right now my throat is really sore, so it'll be hard for me to talk. That might not look so good when I'm asking for applications, but whatever. Wish me luck! I really want a new job.

I'm also going to the apple store in annapolis to figure out how to get more memory for this stupid computer. It keeps crashing on me, and that no es bueno.

So that'll be my day. I'm a little excited, a little nervous. I don't know why I make a big deal out of getting applications and make myself worry over it. lol What are they gonna say? No? lol

I need to stop being good at things...

I recently got into video and filming. I never thought I'd like the field at all, but I've been putting together compilations of videos for my family, filming some myself, and editing the media within all of them to make pretty well thought out presentations. (If I do say so myself)

But any time I get myself into a new field or hobby, I get myself all the more confused. Because that makes me wonder, still, and again, what in the world am I going to do for a career? I can't just do everything I'm good at. There's not a major for that. lol

In any case, I really need to stop finding more things to occupy time with, and start honing in on one specific thing to work on. If I don't, I'll be the one trying to sign up for "The Renaissance Man/Woman" major with a minor in "Everything Else."

Cinco de Mayo

So I know you're all DYING to find out what I did this weekend.

On Thursday night I went to a Hot Rod Circuit concert downtown. It was really really good. I didn't get any pictures, unfortunately, because I couldn't find my camera charger, and my battery was already dead. Boo. Either way, it was a good time.

I went and spent the rest of my weekend in PA with my sister and my parents. It was all right. We went to the Gaither's contert up there by Penn State. The thing that wasn't all right was that the concert was over 4 hours long, and it was all a bunch of old people. I have video footage and pictures to prove it. Anyone who was my or Hannah's age was mentally handicapped, and anyone younger was probably forced to go. Haha. I think I saw this one little boy start crying come to think of it.

But no, overall it was a good time. There were a lot of funny parts to the concert that made it a little more worth my while, but it definitely wasn't what I'd call "my scene." Let alone anyne under the age of 25. I made a slideshow for my mom on a DVD and one of the pictures is of the crowd and the caption says, "Bingo anyone?" - that made her laugh.

After the concert, we drove to the hotel. It was about 12:30am. I was pretty beat, so I went right to bed. We got up the next morning, went out to breakfast, and then went to Lewisburg to do some shopping. Surprisingly enough, I didn't spend a dime. The entire weekend. So, I'll have to blow it all this week. Maybe this weekend. Who knows.

All in all, it was an eventful weekend. Not the greatest, but atleast I didn't spend the whole thing at home, bored. But even if I did, I'm sure I wouldn't spend it at home. Id find somewhere to go.

Speaking of which, I'm gonna get out of here. When you wake up, this town's gonna be red. Maybe blue. I can't decide. Have a nice evening. :-)

Never Wait Until the Last Possible Minute...

...to write a 20 page research project.

Okay it's not 20 pages. But it sure as hell feels like that's what it's gonna be. But anyway...

I've barely had any time to breathe this week, let alone sit down and do research on a novel that I have to interpret and analyze. Did I mention that i haven't even fully read the novel??? Yeah...that'll be a setback. I should finish this week.

There's a draft workshop tomorrow, and I'm basically dreading it because I know that no matter what feedback I get on it, it'll probably pretty much stay in the condition that it is right now. Although, my final grade in the class is heavily dependent on the grade I get on this paper, so I might reconsider that aspect.

I'm running on a 12oz bottle of coke in my hand, and a bowl of quaker oats cereal in front of me to get through all this. The coke was a bad idea. I'm now totally wired and probably won't be getting any sleep tonight at all.

Did I also mention I have a test in Statistics tomorrow and it's now 1:00 in the morning? Yeah...I'm not doing so hot tonight, am I?

I better finish this... don't want to be up too late. Or should I say early... :-/

Gosh I'm so beat...

Research paper anyone???

Peace of Mind

There have been a lot of things weighing into my stress levels lately: schoolwork, school in general, work in general, stuff going on at home, my social life, my family, etc. But I'm kind of getting that thinks will work out. I'm starting to understand that a lot of things going on in my life aren't worth worrying about.

This is how I've come to find a peace of mind I guess.

I started working out every day, I'm eating healthy, I'm getting out more, I'm doing the things that I want to do because I want to do them, and I'm kind of brushing off the "worry factor" for right now. Worrying is for people who are thousands of dollars in debt, with a mortgage payment, and a sucky job that they have to sit through just to get by. I'm not, and hopefully won't ever be one of those people. Knock on wood. Nah I'm pretty good with money, so the financial situation shouldn't be too much of a hassle for me in the future. I don't need much.

Other than that though, I'm starting to build personal self esteem. All this working out stuff makes me feel a lot better image wise, and I kind of hold myself to that. I'm not cocky, because I'm still pretty critical on myself. But I'm not exactly hanging my head in shame anymore. I kinda raise my chin a bit these days. I think to myself, "you know, it doesn't matter what they think. just be happy with yourself. And if that makes other people happy, awesome." I figure if I'm gonna mean anything to the world, I have to mean something to myself first. That's where I'm starting. Starting over, sort of.

I'm not changing anything about myself. Just my personal perception.

And with that, I've aquired a sense of peace. No more bummed out, bad mood, stressed out, worry driven me.

Now it's just me. Nice to meet you. :-)

Decisions

I'm so bad at making big decisions. I like it when other people tell me the "best option" but then encourage me to make my own personal choice, when they know I'm gonna do whatever they say. Basically. But I'm in a bit of a perdicament right now... I wont go into the details.

There are so many different things I can do. And I don't want to do, or put up with, any of them. However, the issue is unavoidable, and if I'm going to do anything about it, it needs to be soon.

It's hard for me to not talk about it... but it's really just something I should keep to myself for right now.

Maybe I'll come out with all of it in the end (should everything work out okay...), but I definitely have my doubts. Which is why this is all making me upset to have to think about, consider, and have to come to a closure on.

:-/

Another Peeve

There are those people, everyone knows them, who LOVE the sound of their own voice. These people annoy me to no end. It's probably one of the most annoying things to me when people just talk to pleasure themselves. I was talking to this guy the other day, and all he did was talk about himself. I'm usually the kind of person who enjoys listening more than talking, but in this case I was pretty disgusted. He had this "high and mighty" tone too, where everything he said was an absolute truth or something. I like to listen to people, but not when they're extremely cocky or full of themselves. Any time I tried to have any input on the conversation, he overshadowed it with all these self-glorifying comments about himself. Drove me nuts.

So there's another peeve of mine. I like listening to intellect, but not cockyness. That's a total turn off. I don't talk to him much anymore. haha

"The Future Freaks Me Out"

I avoid the subject as much as possible. Thinking about it makes me nervous, and pretty uneasy. I think, "what if things would be better if I had only..." Fill in the blank. You think about your circumstances, and I feel like you could live any life if you're in the right place at the right time. I hate thinking like that because it's always leaving me with a question in my head: "What should I do, what should I say, and where should I be?"

Is it here? Would I be much better off somewhere else? The possibilities are endless. It makes it really hard to be content with where I am.

Don't get me wrong though, I enjoy the life I'm living, to a degree. But I'm always wondering what it could be like. How I could be living. Where. Etc.

Anyway... I've been thinking about my career options. It's hard to hone in on one specific job when you do so much. Not boasting. I just don't know what to do with myself, really. lol

That's pretty much why I'm so nervous about it. I don't want to "choose the wrong dooir."

I guess things sort themselves out in time, and I can't wait for closure on it. Although there's never really a closure about the future. So we'll see where things go. For now I'm freaking out about it.

It Was the Worst of Times

I've been pretty bummed out lately. Whether I make false judgements, or I just feel like crap for saying something dumb, or maybe not saying anything at all when I want to. In any case I've been pretty hard on myself. Generally speaking I'm pretty sure that the people I'm feeling all this stuff toward don't share these thoughts, and may not even know that I'm having them. I've been having a lot of anxiety about it for some odd reason. I don't know... I keep feeling like I'm just not good enough, or that I'm just not... gahh I don't even know. What ever the case is, I know that it's just me being overly critical of myself. Someone really just needs to sit me down and say, "Hey. Chill. You're fine, and I'm fine with you. Don't beat yourself up over silly things." Because honestly, that's what I'm doing. I'm beating myself up over it. Not physically, obviously. I'm a sissy who throws a weak punch. Ask me about my middle school experience. haha

But really. I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but if I get no reassurance, I go on thinking that I'm just a failure who doesn't ever know what to say or do. That's when I'll just back off all together. I hide away. And then the times I make an effort to say or do something, if I get a minimal response back, or none at all, I sink away further. Why? I'm insecure I guess... That's really my worst quality. Half the time I know that the other person has nothing against me. But then I'm always using the "what if's" against my situation and in favor of the worser option. Call me paranoid. I know.

I seriously need a vacation... someone tell me to snap out of it. I'm just so stressed out over everything, and it's all stuff I probably don't even need to worry about at all...I need a hug...maybe a neck rub...and a hot bath...

Oh Em Gee

I've been so annoyed at random people lately. People I don't even know. It's so weird. Usually I'm not so judgemental, but I feel like being picky and skeptical with everyone. Someone kept walking past me today wearing "swishy" pants, and she was wearing squeaky shoes. I hated her for it, basically. lol I don't know... I just felt like giving her this evil look of disgust. But I just turned up my ipod and ignored it. But it wasn't enough for her to just walk by once, she had to just keep passing me. Back and forth.

And that's not all either - there's this girl in my computer class. She sits right next to me, and she keeps on glancing over at my computer screen. It wouldn't bother me so much if she just asked me a question or something, but she just keeps looking over at what I'm doing. What I'm writing. Everything. Drives me crazy.

I'm just acting really paranoid lately. I think it has to do with morning classes. That or I'm just anxious for this semester to just end already.

Beat

I've been so tired lately. I had a phone conversation today and all I could say was "huh?" "yeah" and "what?" I don't know... I almost felt like a stoner or something. Yeah, because I know how that feels, right? But no seriously. I've been so out of it. I blame it on the stress level. I'm thinking too much, and trying to fit everything in when I should just be relaxing. Who can relax when your final grade is at stake for one single test that'll define about half of it? I don't know why teachers do that. They set you up for a heart attack. Or a stroke. Either one, I'll probably get. Maybe i'll get both.

I'm so BEAT!!! I've been going to bed early like every single night. It's rediculous. I still wake up tired, take 2 hour naps, and go to bed early again. Craziness.

I need it to be summer...

Shoes and Jewelry

Two of my greatest weaknesses: shoes, and jewelry. I see a pair of cute shoes, or a really pretty necklace, and I just melt. It's not really all that extreme, but sometimes I wish I had a ton of cash to blow on that kind of thing. I usually blow it on CDs, but other than that I'm a big saver. I make myself feel bad for indulging in things I want. I do, or my mom does. Either way, I'll end up feeling bad.

I was in Liz Claiborne the other day... big mistake. I saw these adorable flip-flop type dress shoes: they were turquoise with sequence lining the strap across the top. And they were $70.00. I don't know about you...but that's a little much for a "nice" pair of flip flops. Nice as they were, I wouldn't pay $70.00 for them. But they were amazing. I want them. I'm not all that big on feet - keep yours away from me. I don't mind my own though. Most of the time they look cute (to me anyway), but only because I take care of them, get pedicures, paint them with clear nailpolish, and clean them daily. I also like to fashion them, when I can, with cute shoes, like the ones at Liz's.

Jewelry is my other killer. I have a wall on the inside of my closet just lined with necklaces. I'm bigger on necklaces than with earrings, or bracelets, or anything. But I will wear them if they match the necklace I chose to wear that day. Either way, I love jewelry. I have lots of blues. They're my favorites. That's because blue is, of course, my favorite color.

Sometimes I'll take up making my own jewelry, but you'd be surprised at how much more expensive it is to try and make your own than it is to just buy something that looks like what you want. Granted, I have some good ideas when it comes to fashioning jewelry, but my ideas are pretty costly.

Either way, I love jewelry and shoes. I'm always asking for one or the other, or wanting one or the other. My closet is full of shoes, and the wall is covered in jewelry. Maybe when I figure out a better way to organize, I can expand.

Same with CDs. The top shelf in my closet is lined completely with CDs - all in alphabetical order, of course. And I have room for about maybe 5 or 6 more. That'll be like one trip to R&TT. haha

So now you know my obsessions.

VT

This morning, a man shot and killed about 30 people at Virginia Tech. The event occured 4 days before the anniversary of the Colombine Shootings. So sad... I remember going to some kind of conference thing where the father of one of the victims spoke. Brought me and many others to tears. But just thinking about the affect that this has on people, locally, nationally, globally, it's pretty mind boggling. You wonder if the guy behind it all is sitting in his grave laughing his head off thinking, "Yeah...I did that."

I'm really not sure what kind of mindset you'd have to be in to want to kill that many people, think there was no point in life, and then to just kill yourself afterward. I'd kill myself out of disgust. "Oh my god, what am I thinking? I don't deserve to live after this!" Then again, I would have to be totally possessed to do it in the first place. That said, I'd never do something like that. Let alone think to. It's pretty insane. So I guess that's what you'd have to be: insane!

Anyway... I think about what I'd do in a situation like that. I'd probably just freeze in shock and wonder, "wow someone's actually doing this." Or I'd scream my head off and get the hell out of there. I don't know... It seems so abnormal. So illogical. Just because I'm not used to it and can't imagine it ever actually happening to "me." You hear it all in the news, and on TV, and you're like, "What if that EVER happened here?" and then 2 seconds later you're like, "Nah...not possible." But it's like, it IS possible. And it's scary. Scary to think anybody would have the nerve to take fate into their own hands and be so selfish as to just take the lives of people they don't even know.

The other thing I hate, is thinking about how "30 were killed." You think about that number: 30. It doesn't seem tragic. You know why? It's because we're so used to headlines that say "Over 1,000 killed" or "10,000" or "100,000" if it's a war. And those numbers look tragic. So 30 gets kind of side shelved. I hate that. I think one person dead could be tragic. If I lost anyone close to me, friend, relative, whatever, I'd be so out of sorts. You think about one person close to you dying, and it's almost the end of the world. Well now think about 30 families. 30 moms or dads who have to find out that their son or daughter died. Their son or daughter got shot. Your best friend, your sister, your brother, your neighbor, anybody. Death is so much bigger than any of us really take it for. We play all these video games that make it look like a waste of time, or some kind of accomplishment. I don't know... Death is a natural thing, but not when it's murder. To take the life of another human being is to be a traitor to your own being. So yeah, I get pretty upset hearing stuff like this. Not because I relate, but because I feel sympathetic. I consider all the aspects of that kind of thing, and relate it to here and now. Virginia isn't that far from here.

It makes me appreciate everyone around me. My friends, my family, everybody. You're just thankful to be alive. For a person who's always thinking in worst case scenario, these events just fuel the fire. That said, I think everyone should take note of everything that happened this morning, and maybe reflect it on themselves. Just be thankful.

The Plan

So the plan is to go on a road trip this summer across the United States. Starting point will be Delaware, and we'll end up somewhere in California. We're gonna stop at every state, take pictures at every state sign, and everywhere else for that matter, and just have a good time.

If all things work out though, I may end up playing a few shows with Adam along the way. That's in the mix of our thinking. But yeah...

Very very exciting. I can't wait. The "plan" is to go some time in July. It'll be like a 2 week trip or something. And we'll sleep in the car at all the parking lots to 24 hour Wal*Marts. Well, hopefully not. But if it comes down to being short on cash, that'll be in the mix as well. Either way, I'm excited. :-)

There will be millions of pictures, and possibly a documentary. I shall keep you posted.

BE A GROUPIE!!! lol

Bad Ethics make for Good Days

I decided for the second time to skip out on my English Class. I made sure I had every assignment in that needed to be in and everything. There's really not too much reason for me not to go to this class, but some days, like today, I just don't feel like dealing with this teacher. Especially not with her methods. This'll be the last time though, because I can't miss more than 3 or my final grade will suffer. Plus I have a lot coming up in this class that I won't be able to afford missing.

However, I can afford to miss this class. So I think I will. :-)

I'm skipping my computer class before it also, but I've been to every class in there so I won't be missing a whole lot. Whatever. I wanted time to study for my Stat quiz later on today. Plus I have a project in my Management course I need to work on. I'm making a DVD and filming stuff for it. So that'll take a lot out of me.

This is me reassuring myself that it's "okay" to skip out on class every now and again. This is my again, so I won't be able to do much of it anymore. There's my reassurance. "Never again" - lol I had "Mental Health Days" back in high school, so I'll consider this one of them. ;-)

Text Messages

I'm not quite sure what it is: the annoying, one toned sound alert of them, or the mystery behind the sender of the message, but whatever it is, I love text messages. They just make me excited because it's like, "aww someone paid .05 cents just to send me a message." lol Maybe not like that. But I always find them thoughtful no matter how casual, or rediculous they may be.

What I like most is probably waking up to one on my cell. Generally I wake up to them if I get one really late, because I'm a light sleeper. But other times when I'm just dead, I won't wake up. So I like waking up to that "1 New Msg" screen on my cell phone. Something about them always just brightens my day.

Feel like brightening someone elses day? Send them a text message. Random or stupid. Just do it. I send people silly random texts all the time because I think lots of people probably think the way that I do about them.

Not a big deal, really, but they do make me smile. :-)

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

It's Sunday. And it's really really rainy. Some days the rain makes things just feel a lot better - like some kind of symbolic cleansing. Today it just feels wet and muddy. Maybe it's my mood. Maybe it's the world. Who knows. Either way, it's raining outside.

Not really in the mood to work today. (Am I ever really?) But again, it's good money. And that's all people seem to complain about these days, so I'll just suck it up and do it.

When I get home, I'll be working on a research paper that I've been putting off because I can't stand my English teacher. As you might well know if you keep up with these blogs. :-P Other than that, I'm hoping for a relaxing, and somewhat meloncoly, rainy evening.

Give me a call. This week needs to look brighter. Maybe that means you're included in it. Who knows...



That's a lot of umbrellas.

Disturbia...

Tonight I went and saw Disturbia. It was basically one of the scariest movies I've ever seen. I was on the edge of my seat almost the entire time. I won't call it a great story line, but in terms of a good scare, this one topped a lot of other scary movies that I've seen in the past. Didn't pass Saw. That one was amazing. Still scares the hell out of me. But anyway...

The one major plot element that was really missing from the story was the motivation behind the killing. Why did the neighbor just randomly decide, "Hey it would be pretty cool to shove these women into house walls and preserve decaying flesh." I hope I'm not giving too much away here. Haha It was really just a let down to not see why the killer was as "posessed" as he was. And then his methods were a little vague. We never really found out how he did what he did. Let alone why.

Overall though it was really really scary. Maybe I'm just a wuss though. Wait, of course I'm a wuss! lol But yeah...I was totally clinging to Katie's arm the entire time.

The audience was pretty cool. They all clapped when "this one dude" died. :-X I didn't tell you ANYTHING.

PS - Shia LaBouf didn't do so shabby either. I was actually expecting worse.

Sorry About Tomorrow

Oh I'm cool

Third Wheel

I really don't like the feeling. I've had a few really big encounters where that was me. The third wheel. The extra space. The unwanted baggage. You get the idea.

I remember in middle school when my best friend got her first boyfriend. Suddenly, I didn't even exist. I would call, but the line would be busy. I would write to her, (yeah, in those days I wrote letters) but she'd never respond to them. And when I saw her anywhere, she was with him and it would be a casual not spectacular "Hey hows it going? We should hang out some time." I'd just smile and say "Yeah that sound good." And that would be all. She wouldn't call. Wouldn't write. Wouldn't take any initiative over what I had already done. You know why? Because she was popular. She had a boyfriend and couldn't waste precious time away from him to spend time with her best friend. Am I still bitter? No...not really. But I did learn something about it. I'm never going to ditch friends for some guy. I'll totally spend time with him, but I would never compromise a friendship for one. That would be stupid.

I guess my point in all this is that being a third wheel is no fun. You can say I've pretty much always been or felt like one. Right now, I feel like one. I won't go into details... but just know that blowing people off is never a good idea, and it always has someone feeling lonely or like they're a third wheel. Anyway... Maybe i'll aim for 4th wheel instead. 4 is my favorite number, and 3 is just odd.



I've never seen this movie, but now I'm thinking I should. lol

Senior Week - And I'm a Freshman

In college that is.

One of my best friends, well no...she is my best friend. Haha I probably confide in her more than anybody else. But anyway, she invited me to come on senior week with her and her friends. I'm not sure whether or not I can go yet, but I'm hoping to convince my parents to let me. (Despite the amount of alcohol that will be consumed there)

I'm really looking forward to it though, assuming I'll be able to go. It's gonna be from June 16th to the 23rd. They had a townhouse blocks from the beach with a pool in the backyard. Sounds like a sweet deal to me. :-)

Should I go, it should be some crazy good fun. Can't wait.

Jimmy Eat World: Totally the Greatest Band EVER

Jimmy Eat World has been my favorite band for about 9 years now. I love them. Their sound is always so refreshing to me, and the songs and lyrics are just amazing. Love it. They really need to come to the US and tour here soon... I'm getting really really anxious to see them live. Videos like this one just reinforce the desire:



But anyway... I was actually asking people to go to Germany with me to see them on the 20th. Obviously that isn't gonna happen, but the prospect was pretty exhilarating. lol Plus the drinking age there is what, 16? lol jk...

But yeah. Jimmy Eat World will always be my favorite band ever. They never do me wrong. :-)

Work Work Work

And more work.

I've been taking a lot of hours lately. Not really complaining much, because it's good money. But I don't care all that much about money... I just hear too much about it to not care. That's all I ever hear about, really. Scholarships, taxes, bills, whatever else. I hate money. Root of all evil is right. I hate what it does to people though. They go out of their way to make an extra buck, they're cheap when they're shopping, they cringe any time the gas prices go up, but I kind of let it slide off my shoulder. All with a grain of salt naturally, but I really don't want money to run my life. I want to run my life. That's not really all that feasible though now is it?

But anyway...

All I hear about is money. Just complaints most of the time. They only good thing I heard about money that I remember was pertaining to the check I received from an insurance company after someone crashed into me. And that was the ONLY instance I recall in the past few months or so. That said I started taking on my own bills and stuff. Gas, food, clothes, etc. I don't even ask (much) anymore. Sometimes they'll offer, and I'll refuse. But other times I can't resist, or I'm desperate.

I kinda get frustrated though any time my mom tells me to stop spending my money on "frivilous things." The only thing I ever buy myself anymore is CDs. I don't lavish in expensive clothing or other luxuries at all. It's Cds, and gas. That's ALL. Basically... Maybe when I go out to eat sometimes I'll use it... but not much other than that. So when she tells me to stop "wasting my money" I get a little ticked off. But it passes. I figure, "I'm making the money, I'm gonna spend it." Again, I don't go out wondering, "hm what should I spend my money on today??" I have a list of Cds I want, and I only buy like one or two when I go. And gas is pretty hefty these days. So yeah. I'm not a big spender. I save a LOT. That's how I have a lot right now. I'll hopefully be investing in a car sometime soon. My mom wants the Jimmy to last me to the end of college. Cha right. That's what I have to say to that. haha

Other than that I'm getting in as many hours as possible right now, and saving "almost" every penny I earn. I need a vacation...

Fall Semester

This upcoming semester should prove to be a good one. I'll only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so the rest of my weeks will be completely free!!! HA I wish. I'll be working all the other days. But I figure that'll work out pretty well. I'm excited to have Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays free.

Call me!

I don't see enough of...

my friends.

This is getting old! I spend way too much time cooped up inside my own house, in my room, on my computer. Hence all the blog entries, and excessive time spent on myspace and downloading songs. :-P

I work too much too...well, not really. It's all right. Works getting better actually. We have a lot of incentives coming up - if we make sales for this week, which we are by like $5,000, then we all get $50.00 cash! which is awesome. Because I never have cash.

But that's beside the point. I'm going to have to start actually calling people. I'm generally not one to call my friends... which thinking about it now, I don't understand why I don't. Because I love it when other people call me, so why wouldn't they want me to ever call them? lol But yeah...I would always assume, "well if they're available, they'll call me." But what if they're all thinking the same thing?

I'll try to initiate more. I'm getting better at it. But I get so darn bored!!! It's nutty. I miss my friends. :-(

Call me. Or tell me to call you! haha

More Updates

Here are a few random updates in the way my life is going right now...because it's hard to keep up with me for anything.

*I'm bringing my grades up! Yay! Might get that 3.0 I needed to keep one of the scholarships I have - requires atleast a 3.0, and im at a 2.8 right now. That's the worst I've done in my entire life. Makes me feel awful. But it's not as big a deal to me as it should be I guess... Refer to "The World Revolves Around Money" for that topic.

*I started recording again, and it's going pretty well. Atleast for my level of understanding and being able to record. Especially with drums. Haha

*Easter Break starts on Thursday. Technically after my last class tomorrow though. So that's exciting.

*I'll be spending my entire break working. Except for Saturday and Sunday. I'm off those two days. Considering a beach trip, but I doubt I'll be able to. Too much prep stuff for Easter Sunday.

*Seeing all my relatives and family I hardly ever see on Sunday, and going to the Easter Musical on Sunday night.

*Concert coming up in May! Hot Rod Circuit! Woo!

*I can't remember whether or not my Statistics class is cancelled tomorrow or not... I guess I should find that out.

*Working on a really big research paper that my English grade depends on basically. I hope I do well on it. Parents are hounding me about my grades. They're just concerned, but it makes me paranoid, and nervous.

*My English professor is really really lame. Before we turned in our first assignment, she told us we'd be able to re-write it. After a conference with her the other day, she told me that I'd only be able to raise my C- (my grade on the paper) to a B+. Not bad, but it made me think there was no way possible that I could achieve an "A" status in her eyes. How gay is that? It's like she was setting me up for disappointment. So I thought that was pretty stupid. If I'm able to re-write it, there should be some point to where it's "A" quality. Am I right? Wouldn't that make her grading off? I don't know... I think the whole thing is just gay.

*I don't see enough of my friends. I should start calling people. :-P

*I often wonder how the world would change if one color was missing. What if green just wasn't there? What if it stopped being a color?

*I still don't want to ever be really really old.

*Nutter Butters are officially my favorite cookie.

*Still looking for options for a new job. Suggestions?

*Posted a new song on my website - www.myspace.com/abbyfisher

*The old cat is dying. We think. :-/

*I can't wait to move out. And graduate.

*I get frustrated when my voice doesn't sound the way I want it to. I don't have a forceful voice and it makes me angry sometimes... In the middle of a recording, I just got annoyed and threw the mic on the floor. It's a computer mic, don't worry. lol

*Still looking for a new car.

*Got my tax refund today. It was about $400.00. That was cool.

*I need to buy more CDs - the list has become a book, and it makes me anxious. haha

*I love text messages

*That's all for now.

Top 5 Favorite Bands

1) Jimmy Eat World
-Favorite Album: Clarity
2) John Mayer
-Favorite Album: Continuum
3) The Ataris
-Favorite Album: Welcome the Night
4) The Beatles
-Favorite Album: Abbey Road and Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
5) Elliott Smith
-Favorite Album: XO

New job? Possibly...

So I've recently been debating on whether or not I want to start looking for a new job. For the life of me I couldn't think of somewhere else to work. Well, I could... but none that I thought would really be worth my experience. Then it hit me.

Petsmart.

I love animals!

So we'll see. I thought that sounded like fun. Handling puppies and kittens all day? What wouldn't be fantastic about that job? lol

Anyway, like I said, we'll see. I need to find out a lot more about the job details and pay and everything. I had a friend who worked there about 2 years ago, and she said it was so fun and the pay was decent. I don't know yet though. My job right now seems so steady. I have good hours, and GREAT pay. I'm just wondering what else is out there.

I think I need to build up my resume a bit more than working over a year at an underwear store - even if I am a manager. :-P

We'll see.

The World Revolves Around $

And I hate that.

We dish out thousands of dollars, to go to school, to get an education, to graduate, to go to college, to earn a degree, and to go out into the world and make more money so we can pay it out in sweat, tears, arms and limbs back to the government so that they can fund all the other crap going on around the world. There's life in a nutshell. Live, pay taxes, and die.

Basically, we spend a ton of money to take a few classes, pass a few courses, and earn our degree in whatever field we're going into. You can pass with a D average. That means that just about ANYONE could get a degree if they have the money to. So who says that some guy with a D-average from some prestigeous school isn't performing brain surgery right now? Whos to say our technicians aren't all slobs who just happened to come from rich families? I'm over exaggerating a bit here... My point is that my only motivation right now in college is to keep scholarships I have. I have to get a 3.0 atleast to get about $1500 a year. Right now, I think I have about a 2.8 gpa. Honestly, I don't really care. I'm working pretty hard. I'll admit it's not my best. But I have a job. I have a social life. So I don't want to spend all my free time working on a research paper that counts for 1/4 of my grade. Sue me. I don't know... maybe I'm stressing over things that don't really matter much... And I think that's what's getting to me, really. I'm tired of stressing about things. I want to live! lol

Money isn't exactly a great motivation factor for me. I don't care much about it. If I want something, I'm gonna just buy it and worry about it later. I'm not a stupid shopper. I don't indulge in everything that I want. I don't just go on shopping sprees and spend hundreds of dollars. The most i'll get is like a new pair of shoes, or a few new cds or something like that. That's it. But in terms of like scholarships, I feel like I'll end up paying it all back to my parents anyway, and I'll hopefully make enough in my career that later on, it won't really matter. Because honestly, I don't think it will matter.

Bottom line, I don't want money to rule my life. I don't want to worry about it all the time. I don't want it to be something that hangs over my head any time I use a credit card (which I actually still don't have). Other than that... I'm just stressing about school and the fact that my parents are going to be pretty pisssed off at me when they find out that I'm losing this scholarship that I didn't even apply for... my dad did. :-P I'll just give them $1500. I started paying for gas now too, because I got tired of my parents complaining about money. That's what I DONT like. It's what I dont want to hear. So I thought I'd ease that burden off their hands and put it into mine. I guess I have to get used to it anyway.

I can't wait to move out and live out my career... whatever and where ever that actually means... Who knows.

I hate money.

A Tiny Annoyance

There's this girl in my Sociology class... she seems innocent enough. She even looks innocent enough.

I take with great respect the use of a hi-liter. They're convenient for pointing out or making clear to you something that may be important. It may be some key aspect in something you're doing.

This girl...let me tell you. She had it all wrong, ok? lol She abused the right to having or using a hi-liter. She used it for her planner. Not just hi-liting key events, or important days, no... she didn't stop there. She would take the thing and hi-lite the whole bloody paper! What is the point??

I dont know.. that got on my nerves. Who uses a hi-liter to hi-lite an entire page in a planner? It would be one thing if she did it to just one. Maybe that was some BIG day for her. No... she hi-lited EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Retarded. And a waste of perfectly good hi-liting ink. Whatever...

Recording: Take Me Somewhere

So today I wrote a song: Take Me Somewhere. I recorded it today too. It sounds pretty good except for a few parts that are choppy, and not in time... but other than that I'm pretty happy with the way that it turned out.

You can check it out at www.myspace.com/abbyfisher

Or you can just read about it... your choice.

Anyway... writing it was the easy part. Recording was the part that really tripped me up. I programmed all the drums and guitar parts myself, because I can't actually do that kind of thing myself. :-P

To put in the snare part, I had to hit the "d" button on my keyboard really fast. And then to get everything in time, and make it sound decent... it's a lot harder than it all sounds.

But anyway, I'm pretty happy with the outcome, so you really should check it out if you're interested. I might start recording more solo material more often, but we'll see... I may just have that be material for my band, "The End All." Who knows...

Have a nice day.

One more update:

I decided to re-do my room. It kind of started with the mural, but now I want everything to go with it. My dresser is ancient. I want a new one entirely. I'm getting a new bed - hopefully a bigger one. Maybe i'll get one with the drawers underneath to save space. And then I want to re-paint the other walls to go with the mural. Purple and flowery doesn't exactly match punk-rock ataris wall. haha

I want to re-do the interior of my closet. Maybe find another place for my cds. They aren't all fitting on the shelf in the closet... who knows what's happening in there. haha

I've always wanted hardwood floors... my dad says that isn't happening.

I def need a bookshelf.

I guess as I come up with more ideas i'll put them into effect... for now it's basically an unstructured mess in progress. :-P

As soon as I finish (if I ever do) I will take pictures and post them here.

Until then, wish me luck in my endeavours.

:-D

Have a nice day.

Random Updates

*Bryan's dinner was delicious - he made pork, asparagus, sweet potatoes, and spiced cinnamon apple slices. It was amazing. Dessert was strawberry cheesecake

*I dont know where I'd be without my friends. You know who you are.

*I wrote and recorded a new song. It's pretty cool. Ask about it.

*The "I" on my keyboard keeps getting stuck. It's bothersome

*I'm basically failing statistics

*I found out how fireworks work

*I looked up the meaning to imaginary numbers. I still say they're a load of crap.

*School is stupid when you have stupid teachers. ((cough cough)) ENGLISH!!! ((cough cough))

*I've been buying cds left and right now that I found my list, and re-did it. :-P I need to chill out.

*I might get fired soon, but I'm not sure yet. Although, I'm not so sure I'd have a problem with that. ;-)

*Summer vacation is fast approaching.

*Seeing Hot Rod Circuit May 3rd. Excitement to the 10th power.

*I'm pretty comfortable with everything right now. It's a happy thing. :-)

*I don't care about money.

*I don't want to be "old" old. The idea is pretty weird.

*Oldies music rocks my world.

*My cat is a bum who takes over my pillow in the middle of the night. >:-(

*I love cheesecake. But not strawberries.

*I need to get with my band and record soon!!! (i.e. The End All - it's just me and Adam. :-P)

*Text messages make my day.

*Sleeping is good. I've taken a nap about every day this week and last week. I feel so refreshed.

*Good weather makes for good days.

*Rainy days are nice (in spring)

*Making out in the rain sounds even nicer. lol - Doesn't everyone have some kind of fantasy about that?

*I want to go to the ocean.

*Life is good. Give me a call

Demitri Martin: Episode 3

A Dinnero por my familio

I'm not really that bad at Spanish. haha I took it for 3 years after all. But anyway, Hannah boyfriend Bryan is making my family dinner tonight, and I hear he's quite the chef. That said I'm excited about it. Especially since I'll actually be there for it. I don't work today. What a shocker. Haha

Anyway, I'm interested to see what he makes. No, he isn't Mexican. He's Philipino. But I think I heard something about him making mexican food. Not sure though. Oh well. We'll see. I'm sure it'll be delicious. Mmmmmm delicioso!!!!

Cooking 102

Turns out I'm not so great at making pretzels...

Oh well. Maybe I'll try again next time I'm in the mood.

I think maybe I just added too much baking soda. That would do it.

Cooking 101

My best friend Adam went to Ruutz today. I think that's how you spell it? Anyway... it's in PA. This Amish market where people sell things and whatnot. Good times. I love going there.

His venture there today inspired me to make one thing that makes those trips always stand out for me: ham and cheese pretzels. They're heavenly good. I'm sure the ones I'm making won't be nearly as delicious, but they're just a nice reminder of what I love about the Amish market, and PA for that matter. The food!

But anyway...I'm making a pretty big mess, but I'm hoping the outcome will be worth all of it.

Mmmm can't wait.

I really do enjoy cooking, but I generally have to be in the mood to. And I enjoy a challenge. ;-)

Now reading the Eulogy of...

The Track Record.

You were a good band. I only got to see you twice...but both times you were amazing.

So yeah...I just found out that the track record broke up. Way to ruin my day. And the rest of my bloody life for that matter. No, I'm joking. But it will certainly remain a let down for a while.

My favorite song would have to be "Letters to Summer" and "Available/Responsible." The lyrics were so catchy, and they kinda meant something to me. More or less.

Here are a few lyrics by who other than the track record themselves:

"The place at which we want to be is well within our reach...we're just not ready for it"

"This hardly scratches the surface, I make it a point to leave you wanting more."

So here's to the track record. They left me wanting more. Go buy their album.

Cheers

Demitri Martin Episode 2

Thursday morning

I decided at 3am on Thursday morning to drive to the beach and watch the sunrise. A bit risky to go by myself, but I wasn't worried at all. Plus this is March. There aren't going to be a ton of people down there. But it was nice. The drive was quiet. I had made a mix that consisted of 4 cds with about 21 tracks on each one just for the ride. It was perfect. Relaxing. I only wish I could have stayed longer than I did.

So I just went up there for the day, took a small nap and headed home around 1pm. I just drove around, sat on the beach, took pictures, and cruised. It was overall a nice experience because I like being by myself like that. It's awesome. It probably would have been nicer, and safer, to have gone with someone else... but no one could... and my spring break wasn't getting any longer. Plus it was such perfect weather!

But anyway, here's some of the pics I took there:







That isn't all of them, just my favorites. The first one is probably the best picture I've ever taken in my opinion. :-) Hope you enjoyed them.

Ewww Gay

So on my way home from work tonight, I was driving down the road. Totally obeying the speed limit. The light turns yellow so I speed up to get out of the intersection, when all of a sudden, this idiot driver in front of me just beyond the light decides they don't know whether they're turning left, or right at this next light and instead of figuring it out while they were driving onward, they stopped dead in the middle of the road!

I slam on the breaks and barely avoid contact with this jerks car and they finally put on a blinker, and start up again to turn right.

Having to slam the breaks to hard, I ended up getting a charlie horse in my right calf muscle, which hurt like hell the entire way home... and I got a cramp in my other foot from the stress of the scene.

Idiot drivers bug the hell out of me. So do charlie horses.

I'm not having fun right now... Advil time.

"Spring Bum Out" is more like it

I really really hate that no one has the same break as me. I can't do anything!!! I want to go to the BEACH! I want to get outta here! lol

It must just be the season....

I have the break, but not the fun part of it. :-P

Somebody help me out here!

Snap Crackle and Pop!

No, not the cereal.

Cracking your fingers, and whatever else in your body has become a pretty big debate in my house hold, and amongst most of the people I know. My mom is convinced that it causes arthritis, and other people say there's no connection. So, being a knuckle-cracker I decided to look it up.

Here's the article I read - just if you're interested to know what it actually does and whether or not it's actually harmful:

"Joints are the meeting points of two separate bones, held together and in place by connective tissues and ligaments. All of the joints in our bodies are surrounded by synovial fluid, a thick, clear liquid. When you stretch or bend your finger to pop the knuckle, you are causing the bones of the joint to pull apart. As they do, the connective tissue capsule that surrounds the joint is stretched. By stretching this capsule, you increase its volume. And as we know from chemistry class, with an increase in volume comes a decrease in pressure. So as the pressure of the synovial fluid drops, gases dissolved in the fluid become less soluble, forming bubbles through a process called cavitation. When the joint is stretched far enough, the pressure in the capsule drops so low that these bubbles burst, producing the pop that we associate with knuckle cracking.

"It takes about 25-30 minutes for the gas to redissolve into the joint fluid. During this period of time, your knuckles will not crack. Once the gas is redissolved, cavitation is once again possible, and you can start popping your knuckles again.

"As for the harms associated with this habit, according to Anatomy and Physiology Instructors' Cooperative, only one in-depth study regarding the possible detriments of knuckle popping has been published. This study, done by Raymond Brodeur and published in the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics, examined 300 knuckle crackers for evidence of joint damage. The results revealed no apparent connection between joint cracking and arthritis; however, habitual knuckle poppers did show signs of other types of damage, including soft tissue damage to the joint capsule and a decrease in grip strength. This damage is most likely a result of the rapid, repeated stretching of the ligaments surrounding the joint. A professional baseball pitcher experiences similar, although obviously heightened, effects in the various joints of his pitching arm. But assuming you haven't signed a multimillion dollar contract to constantly pop your knuckles, it hardly seems worth the possible risk to your joints.

"On the positive side, there is evidence of increased mobility in joints right after popping. When joints are manipulated, the Golgi tendon organs (a set of nerve endings involved in humans' motion sense) are stimulated and the muscles surrounding the joint are relaxed. This is part of the reason why people can feel "loose" and invigorated after leaving the chiropractor's office, where cavitation is induced as part of the treatment. Backs, knees, elbows and all other movable joints are subject to the same kind manipulation as knuckles are." - From the article "What Makes your Knuckles Pop?" at www.howstuffworks.com/question437.htm


So maybe you just learned something, or maybe this was stuff you already knew. But it makes me feel a lot better about cracking my knuckles from time to time.

Things I like

I don't think I'm into any specific type of guy. All the guys I've liked in the past have ranged from religious, to punk rockers, to skate boarders, to stoners. Except that when I found out the one guy was a stoner I stopped liking him. haha That said I don't know that there's any specific personality that i like. It's more or less what they do and don't do that matters to me. All the rest doesn't really mean much. So here's a list of things that I think I like, or that I'm attracted to. Usually I don't like making lists like this, because I don't want people to model themselves after it just so that I'm impressed, you know? But so far I haven't had that be a problem. ha

So here goes nothin:

1. Cologne - in moderation. I like it when a guy smells clean. If you wear cologne, don't make it because you're covering up a "bad smell." Make it because you're accenting your already fresh scent and want others to take notice in a good way. From my standing on cologne, less is MORE. (Curve is nice. I almost bought it so that I could smell like that because I loved it so much. but I didn't. Thought it would be a little awkward. haha)

2. Clothes - I don't really care what style you prefer, but I like it when your clothes fit you. Too tight isn't good unless you look good in tight clothing. If that is the case, the tighter the better. haha jk. Too tight is never good. But I like clothes to fit. Baggy just looks tacky and lazy.

3. Gentlemen - I really appreciate kind gestures by guys. I always notice them too. Holding open doors, paying for movies, pulling out chairs, etc. That's not to say that I'm going to expect it all the time, or that I'm going to harp on you for not doing those things. But I will always think in my head, "Aw how sweet" after you do it. I do that kind of thing for other people too, so I won't be selfish and make you always pay, or make you do things for me. It's just something I like. I won't look for it, or expect it though. Just know that I notice kind gestures. :-)

4. Smiles - I really like when I'm talking to someone, and they smile. Or they keep eye contact with me. It makes me feel really comfortable and like I know you want to be there talking with me. If you're looking off somewhere else, or have your arms crossed and you don't seem interested, I'm going to think that I'm not worth your time. Then I make myself feel bad. That doesn't mean you have to pay attention to me all the time. It just means that if I'm talking to you, I don't want to think you aren't listening.

5. When I know they're thinking about me - this could mean basically anything. Just anything that says, "Hey I was thinking about you" is going to make me really excited and happy about it. Be creative. I always am, and I always try to do this kind of thing without over stepping boundaries or making anything seem like "too much."

6. Taste in music - anyone that I'm interested in now has to have good taste in music. It doesn't matter what for the most part, just as long as we share interests in that subject. I like arguing over specifics when it comes to music because I've acquired a pretty good opinion when it comes to what "good music" is. So if we have differences, it's not to say I won't appreciate or get used to them. Just be prepared for a little argument here and there.

7. Flirting - I'll never be the first to flirt. That is with anything. In conversation, in physical contact, I don't know whatever else.. But there's something about me where I can never bring myself to just come out and say or do something. Just know I'll want you to. In moderation though. Don't take away the fun of it by doing it ALL the time. Here and there is good. I'm ticklish everywhere so don't take advantage of that too often. lol Just as long as I can get you back for it.

8. Religious view - I'm a Christian. I don't think everyone I'm interested should have to be. I want you to have an opinion on God though. Anything. I won't try to change your mind, or convert you, but I want you to respect the fact that I do have faith in God. Thanks.

9. Sense of humor - I like when guys are funny. I love laughing. You don't have to be a comedian, but I need you to atleast have enough of a sense of humor that if we're watching a funny movie, you can laugh at stupid things, or laugh at yourself when you do something stupid, or laugh at things I say and do that are funny so that I can laugh with you. I don't need someone to be serious all the time. Just know when to be, and when to loosen up.

10. Height - I want someone who's taller than me. Not saying I couldn't fall for someone shorter, but it's my general rule of thumb that he's gotta be taller than me.

11. Hair - length doesn't matter to me. As long as it looks good on you.

12. Animals - they have to like cats, or be able to deal with them if they don't. I can deal with dogs, but I dont like them and they scare me most of the time.

13. Artistic/creative - if you're neither of these things, you need to have atleast some kind of appreciation for it. I would love it though if you have some kind of creative disposition or the ability to see things in different ways. It'll give us a lot to talk about.

14. Hobbies - have some. Convo topics. Common interests. Uncommon interests. Anything. I just want to know that there are things you do besides eating and sleeping.

15. Intelligent - I dated a guy who thought I used big words when I said "intellect" and "ambiguous." I'm glad though because atleast I knew he was an idiot after that. I don't think they need to be a genius, but they definitely need to be atleast to my level or more intelligent than I am. Hopefully more though. There are a lot of things I don't understand. And I'm pretty naiive.

16. Timing - Never be late. Have a reason if you are. I'm always on time, or early. More than likely early. But I always have a reason if I'm late.

17. Honest - Don't lie to me. If you do, then make it for something that wouldn't matter either way, or that I really don't need to know the truth about. Just be honest. Be open too. Confide in me for things. I'm not a gossip. I like to know that you can trust me with information, and it would make me a lot more comfortable to share the less comfortable things in my life with you.

18. Literate - be somewhat literate, or read books of some kind. lol

19. Shy - I like shy guys. Don't be too shy though. We'll probably never talk. haha I'm pretty shy myself, so I like being able to relate with that. It makes me less uncomfortable about guys if they're feeling the way I am.

20. Dating - it doesn't have to mean eternity from day one. It can be comfortable. Casual. Just don't expect me to spend all of my time with you, or want to. You have your friends, I'll have mine, and we can have in betweens. You can cancel plans with me to hang out with a friend you haven't seen in forever and a day. I'll understand. I'm not selfish and I'm extremely patient. Just don't be clingy or cancel on me every time I try to hang out with or go out with you. My ex was clingy. Hence "ex." haha So you don't have to call EVERY night, and we don't have to go out EVERY weekend. Just save room for me on occasion. That's what dating should be.

So those are just a few things. Always open for interpretation and changes. Whatever. There's no set rules for me when it comes to what I look for, so that could always fluxuate. That and I haven't really dated much, so it's not like I could have a really strong opinion about it. haha

Demitri Martin Stand-Up

This guy is so hilarious. He's awesome. :-)

Walking, Talking, Fortune Cookie

Okay so this Asian woman comes into my work the other day... this is not the start of a poorly-constructed racist joke. So she comes in an asks me for my help:

Woman: "Ca yu help meh?"

Me: "Of course."

Woman: "Oh tan yu. Yu soah kind."

Literally. This lady reeked Asian. Stereotypical mirror image of one. I almost thought she'd have fortune cookies in her purse or something. She did have one of those little change purses though. In which she had over $500.00 cash. She paid me in all pennies. Yes I'm exaggerating. But she did drop a penny under some of the racks and had me go get it for her.

Woman: "Eh wa a beeeg one! I sure! I sure!"

Me: "Oh it was just a penny."

Woman: "Oh, bu i's so shaaanny!"

This was our actual conversation.

As I was ringing her up, she looked at me and said:

Woman: "Yu so yung. Yu do greeea tings. Greaaaa tings! Yu so yung. So yung."

Me: Oh, thanks. I hope so.

Woman: "Yu go tu school?"

Me: "Yeah, I'm a freshman at Villa Julie."

Woman: "OH! GREAAA TINGS!!!"

Me: "We'll see."

Woman: "Wa chu doin hea? You beta dan dis."

Me: "Well, this was my first job...so I'm just seeing where it takes me."

Woman: "Greaaa tings!"

Me: "Hope so. Have a nice day."


I swear. This woman was sooo Asian. lol I'm not racist. I just found it pretty funny. She was like a fortune teller or something. lol I thought she was gonna teach me some ancient secret before she left. Who knows...maybe she did.

The End All

So my band (me and my friend Adam) should start recording again this week. I'm excited. We have a myspace.

www.myspace.com/th3endall

We're called "The End All" - we might just be your cup of TEA. lol

But I'm really happy with the stuff we've done so far. We have a lot of songs, but haven't gotten around to recording a lot of them since we both get pretty irritable with eachother and end up wanting to murder one another after about an hour of recording. haha I wouldn't go that far, but it definitely gets frustrating.


Adam: Lets record this section again, I think it could be a little tighter

Me: Are you serious? It totally sounds fine.

Adam: No. It doesn't. It sucks.

Me: No. It doesn't. You suck.

Adam: Yeah well $@#* you!

Me: Fine. I'm not your friend anymore.

Adam: Yeah, well I'm not in your band anymore!

Me: What? No! (Starts crying)

Adam: You're right...we're too amazing to break up.

Me: Phew. I'm still not your friend.

Adam: Whatev.

Me: Yeah. You're totally crying on the inside.

Adam: Yeah. I totally am.


As long as we're both unarmed, it can be as tame as that. lol Nah, that was hypothetical. I'm joking. But yeah, it gets frustrating. Especially when neither of us are experts. We need to hire professionals or something. Maybe give them the music and have other people record it for us, and then we'll say it's us. lol

Keep checking for new songs though. But they may not be up for a while. It took about a week to finish one song. :-P

Spring Break: Part 2

So this week is my spring break. I need something to do. Somewhere to go. Anything. However, the problem in all of this is that all of my friends and everyone that I'd want to spend time with has spring break NEXT week, or the week after... that bummed me out.

So if anyone is free THIS week, and wants to do something, go somewhere, anything, give me a call.

-Abby

NHS ceremony

So on Tuesday night I performed at the induction ceremony at North County High School because my sister Hannah (secretary in NHS) was head of entertainment. That said, she coaxed me into performing something that night. Well no, she basically just told me that I was "going to do it." lol

I picked a song for it the day before. "Heart of Life" by John Mayer. It seemed uplifting enough, and the jumpy piano part that I interpreted from the guitar parts in the song were very cute. My problem in the whole thing though was playing the piano part and singing it at the same time. Without any nerves at all, I could do the whole thing beginning to end, singing my heart out (pun intended), and do a decent job with it. That night was a different story though.

I get up there to play, and my hands start shaking. I tried to kind of ease myself out of it, but it didn't work. I was totally psyched out and kept thinking, "Oh my god, I didn't reherse enough...I'm gonna mess this up so bad..." It started well. I was pretty on for the most part, until the chorus. After the first chorus I started screwing up chords, and getting myself frustrated. I kept cool though. Maintained a level of decensy, and kind of redeemed myself at the last chorus and the ending was dead on. I just got wrapped up in a low confidence level and let myself think that I couldn't pull it off.

Afterward people said they didn't notice any flaws when I brought them up after compliments. I guess I shouldn't draw attention to them at all, but I'm pretty modest. Or I try to be. I know I'm good at it, but that night just wasn't my night. I wasn't prepared enough. But it was all right...

I did have one of the parents come up to me and say that I had good taste. At first I was confused and said, "I'm sorry?" He was referring to my handbag that had the "Beatles" on it, and reitterated that I had "good taste in music." When he found out that I made the bag, he was like, "wow, good taste, and talented. that's awesome." So I felt a lot better after that. ;-)

So it wasn't the greatest night, and it wasn't the best performance from me, but atleast I know I have good taste. :-D

Girls can be so selfish sometimes....

Let me clarify.

You always see people making lists of all the things that "guys should do" to make a girl happy. Where's the guys list though? I bet if any guy ever made one, a girl would say, "oh that's just rediculous" and tear it up. Not really like that. But you never see it from their side. You know?

I just see a ton of bulletins and stuff on myspace and blogs that say they want their guy to "hold them, kiss them, tell them all the stuff they want to hear, be considerate, do this, do that..." Sounds pretty bossy to me, dont you think? They'll hold you when they want to. Why not hold them for a change?

Sometimes I find myself waiting for this kind of thing to happen, but only because I'm shy. I don't want a negative reaction. When I think I'm getting one, I back off. I'm really self-conscious, so if I think something is a bad idea, or I think it would be too bold of me, I won't do it. Even if in my mind it's like, "oh come on, this won't get a negative reaction." I'm so weird. lol

Ever see the Village? I'm like the guy on there who won't touch the woman he likes because he likes her. I don't know what it's about, but I'm like that. It's what says I like a person if I'm scared to touch them. However, that doesn't mean that I don't want to. At all.

But the thing I'm getting at is that girls need to be a little more considerate of what guys like instead of stressing upon them all the things they want their guys to do for them. Like what if they want you to give them flowers and candy? lol Maybe not, but just a consideration. I think occasionally the girl should pay for the movie. The girl should put her arm around the guys shoulder. I'm being a hypocrite, because I shy away from doing this kind of thing too... But I'm just saying. Maybe girls should stop being so selfish about "their needs" and look at things in a different light. So you want him to make the first move, huh? Well what if you did for a change? I can't make first moves...it's something I think is definitely a guys job. That's what I get for watching so many romance movies when I was younger I guess... lol

I think all this is why I love this movie:

The girl makes the first move. Technically she doesn't though....you gotta watch the movie. :-P

Yeah...that's about it. Have a nice day.

Random thoughts and questions

Do you ever wonder why we care about all those people in Hollywood? Like, who made them famous? Who's the top of all that? Where's the "industry" come in? I know there are explanations, but how come those people aren't the "famous ones"? I don't know. I'm thinking just randomly. Like, who cares that so-and-so got a boob job, or that whats-her-face shaved her head bald? Why do we need to keep up with all their lives when it's so hard to keep track of your own? I'm not saying that we're all completely obsessed, but it makes me wonder what they think when they see their faces plastered on the headlines and in magazines. How come no one wants to interview "the real people" in the "real world" on TV? Again just random thoughts. Don't take me too seriously on all this. I know a lot of people are famous because they are "talented" but that's so loose these days. It's about the look, the profile, I don't know. Whatever else. But then I want to think that the people that write the music, the people that write the scripts for all these great movies should get more credit than the actors. The directors are much more talented than the actors and actresses, in my opinion. Well, and that depends. Anyway...moving on.

You ever wonder about the people who got stuck with jobs like cardboard box production? I feel bad for those people. It's like, I consider them to all have such great potential. Or atleast I hope they do... And then you think, "well if no one made cardboard boxes, we'd run out of them." Where would we be without cardboard boxes? And it's not all about cardboard. What about toothbrush production? Toothpicks? Tires? All the sticker labels that go on everything? Street signs? Anything that we take for granted, you know? Who makes all that? Garbage cans. Paper and pencils. CD cases. Lightbulbs.
And then there's packaging peanuts! Oh boy...

Although...we all know where all that stuff is made: China, Japan, and Taiwan.

Do you ever think that they think Americans are crazy for half the stuff we get produced over there? What do you think they all thought the first time they saw "Spongebob Squarepants" coming down the production line? lol I dont know. I think about stuff like that.

And then you start thinking about all the labor done by like children and stuff, and it makes you really sad. :-( I wont talk about that though. Too sad.

But back to what I was saying earlier, what if all those people just decided they didn't want to make lightbulbs anymore? What if someone said, "I'm done working at the tic-tac factory!" And all the people who make the machinery for factories that make the cardboard boxes. What if they stopped making it? Stopped designing it? Fixing it at all? I know my points aren't very valid. I'm just thinking abstractly and randomly. So take it with a grain of salt that I'm extremely bored, and tired.

I'm gonna take a nap now. I hope you liked my "points" if I had any. haha