"The Future Freaks Me Out"

I avoid the subject as much as possible. Thinking about it makes me nervous, and pretty uneasy. I think, "what if things would be better if I had only..." Fill in the blank. You think about your circumstances, and I feel like you could live any life if you're in the right place at the right time. I hate thinking like that because it's always leaving me with a question in my head: "What should I do, what should I say, and where should I be?"

Is it here? Would I be much better off somewhere else? The possibilities are endless. It makes it really hard to be content with where I am.

Don't get me wrong though, I enjoy the life I'm living, to a degree. But I'm always wondering what it could be like. How I could be living. Where. Etc.

Anyway... I've been thinking about my career options. It's hard to hone in on one specific job when you do so much. Not boasting. I just don't know what to do with myself, really. lol

That's pretty much why I'm so nervous about it. I don't want to "choose the wrong dooir."

I guess things sort themselves out in time, and I can't wait for closure on it. Although there's never really a closure about the future. So we'll see where things go. For now I'm freaking out about it.