Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Arrested Development
I was sad to find out that there were only three seasons made from this show. It's utterly hilarious. I recommend it to anyone who has a sense of humor. The directing and the scripts are definitely something to be noted. Ron Howard is probably one of my favorite directors of all time. He also narrates the show.
I won't detail on the subject matter other than note that it's fall-out-of-your-chair-laughing funny. So go buy all three seasons. Now!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
New favorite flower:
The magnolia. I actually figured that one out a few months ago when i started my new job, but I thought I'd update it because as far as you all know I like chrysanthemums. haha
Take over
(poem)
There's a good chance this means absolutely nothing
and a better chance you won't even read it.
So, why bother pouring out the thoughts and afflictions,
remedies and cures,
that plague my dreams and aspirations
when they're not what I need?
What I need is a sign.
I need something to touch me.
Intervene!
Evil thoughts wreak havoc on innocent souls.
Possess the world.
So much for peace.
Forget it.
It's not even realistic.
Quit dreaming.
Wake up.
Something's wrong with everything
Something's wrong with everyone
So what is real?
What is pure?
What is holy?
What is right?
What is love?
What is hate?
Who are we?
How do we defer the good from the bad
the happy from things that make us turn away in horror
When it all comes down to it...
What is anything at all?
Life is a blink, a smile, a drink.
Hope your eyes were beautiful
Hope your smile was lovely
Hope it tasted good...
While it lasted.
There's a good chance this means absolutely nothing
and a better chance you won't even read it.
So, why bother pouring out the thoughts and afflictions,
remedies and cures,
that plague my dreams and aspirations
when they're not what I need?
What I need is a sign.
I need something to touch me.
Intervene!
Evil thoughts wreak havoc on innocent souls.
Possess the world.
So much for peace.
Forget it.
It's not even realistic.
Quit dreaming.
Wake up.
Something's wrong with everything
Something's wrong with everyone
So what is real?
What is pure?
What is holy?
What is right?
What is love?
What is hate?
Who are we?
How do we defer the good from the bad
the happy from things that make us turn away in horror
When it all comes down to it...
What is anything at all?
Life is a blink, a smile, a drink.
Hope your eyes were beautiful
Hope your smile was lovely
Hope it tasted good...
While it lasted.
Sure Fire Thing
I got to thinking about "sure fire things" for some reason. The "safe move" - "easy way out" kinda thing.
Human beings thrive for things that are known - no need for explanation, just see and do. There's no question in math or logic. The sun will rise and set, the earth will revolve around the sun in a matter of 365 days give or take a few hours til daylight savings, and we'll go through four seasons every year, breathing the same air, and living out the lives we set for ourselves. We love less controversy than more (though the media begs the question to defer from that logic), and we enjoy seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
As much as you might say, "wait, no. There's definitely a joy in not knowing certain things" - and I can see that too, agree, and also, disagree. What we claim to be "joy in the unknown" is really just anxiety, worry, fear, etc that we trick ourselves into thinking its "good" or "joy".
No... you're scared out of your mind. The future is unpredictable - with the exception of the stock market, the economy, and other things like the weather, but each of those also has an "element of surprise."
But what I mean is, we ask ourselves questions like,
"what do i want to do with my life?"
"where will I be in 10 years? 5 years? 1 year? tomorrow?"
"what's in store for me?"
on and on it goes...
That's something you can think about, predict, and plan out, but lets face it, we have no idea. None. And that in and of itself, is scary.
What if I die tomorrow? What if I'm not successful? What if I'm not happy?
Scary.
I think about those questions a lot. But not just about me, about people around me too. Family, friends, strangers, homeless people - do you wonder what they think about? Whether or not there's any mentality where they're thinking "this can't be all I'm here for" when they curl up on a bench or a shelter and fall asleep? (i realize im being stereotypical, but there are more people living like that than we know...and I figure you get my point.
But then you think about "sure fire things" - and it's a complete contradiction. Because in reality, is there any such thing at all?
Are we ever sure? Is there ever no shadow of doubt? No question in our minds?
No.
And that,
is my "sure-fire" logic.
*****Just a side note though - I have no doubt that people are very ambitious creatures who strive for good things in life (and have good anxiety about it) because my first perception of people is good before its bad. There's a definite flaw in thinking there, I'm sure. What can i say, I'm naive. Anyway.. I'm not trying to make people feel bad or scared about the future. I'm just making notes of thoughts I think about a lot. Agree, disagree, whatever. It's just the way my head is working at this given moment.
Human beings thrive for things that are known - no need for explanation, just see and do. There's no question in math or logic. The sun will rise and set, the earth will revolve around the sun in a matter of 365 days give or take a few hours til daylight savings, and we'll go through four seasons every year, breathing the same air, and living out the lives we set for ourselves. We love less controversy than more (though the media begs the question to defer from that logic), and we enjoy seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
As much as you might say, "wait, no. There's definitely a joy in not knowing certain things" - and I can see that too, agree, and also, disagree. What we claim to be "joy in the unknown" is really just anxiety, worry, fear, etc that we trick ourselves into thinking its "good" or "joy".
No... you're scared out of your mind. The future is unpredictable - with the exception of the stock market, the economy, and other things like the weather, but each of those also has an "element of surprise."
But what I mean is, we ask ourselves questions like,
"what do i want to do with my life?"
"where will I be in 10 years? 5 years? 1 year? tomorrow?"
"what's in store for me?"
on and on it goes...
That's something you can think about, predict, and plan out, but lets face it, we have no idea. None. And that in and of itself, is scary.
What if I die tomorrow? What if I'm not successful? What if I'm not happy?
Scary.
I think about those questions a lot. But not just about me, about people around me too. Family, friends, strangers, homeless people - do you wonder what they think about? Whether or not there's any mentality where they're thinking "this can't be all I'm here for" when they curl up on a bench or a shelter and fall asleep? (i realize im being stereotypical, but there are more people living like that than we know...and I figure you get my point.
But then you think about "sure fire things" - and it's a complete contradiction. Because in reality, is there any such thing at all?
Are we ever sure? Is there ever no shadow of doubt? No question in our minds?
No.
And that,
is my "sure-fire" logic.
*****Just a side note though - I have no doubt that people are very ambitious creatures who strive for good things in life (and have good anxiety about it) because my first perception of people is good before its bad. There's a definite flaw in thinking there, I'm sure. What can i say, I'm naive. Anyway.. I'm not trying to make people feel bad or scared about the future. I'm just making notes of thoughts I think about a lot. Agree, disagree, whatever. It's just the way my head is working at this given moment.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Updates:
1. I'm still recording and adding new demos to my band site
http://www.myspace.com/abbyfisher (if you're interested)
2. Boys. I'll give you the whole story. Bear with me.
I ended my "relations" with this one guy Andrew who lived in Fredrick. Things just weren't working out so well. What with the distance, and some "issues" I had... haha In any case, it wasn't working and we were both pretty mutual about the whole thing. Next thing I know, a good friend of mine, we'll call him the number "2," comes on to me basically rationalizing his feelings to me and saying that he feels like if he doesn't take a chance on it, he'll just end up regretting not doing anything later. I had always sort of had feelings for him, but never acted on them. He even asked me out once in high school, but I said no because he was on a lot of things in those days... He isn't now. Which is good for him. I'm happy he decided to stop. Anyway, at that point I figure, "Okay, we're dating." We hang out after that, and things are looking good. I'm happy with him, he seems happy with me, we're both happy, right? Well... no. After three days of this "bliss" im hanging out with 2 and his friend "1" - that makes me "3" (this'll be important later). So 1 gets up to go to the bathroom and 2 is next to me on the couch. He turns to me and says "I don't think it's a good idea..." And I say "What's not a good idea?" And he says "Dating..." I just give him this blank stare because that totally threw me. I didn't see it coming at all. 1 starts to come back from the bathroom and 2 says "Do you want to talk about this outside?" I say, "yes" and we go out on the porch.
I couldn't even look at him. I was just staring at my feet. It was cold, and I was just confused, and getting a bit upset by this point because I couldn't understand how anyone could just waste something like that and put the whole thing to rest after only 3 days. So to the best of my ability I'll tell you what he told me.
Basically, he told me that he didn't want to ruin a perfectly good friendship, he could only ever really see me as a "friend", he didn't want to hurt me, he said I'd end up getting frustrated with him and that would just be "who he was" (I'm already frustrated with you, babe.), everything after that that he said was kind of lost in my mind because I was so confused and it just felt so surreal at the time. Because that was the first time I had ever been "dumped."
Anyway, he finishes his rant and then turns to me and say "Do you have anything to say?"
I look up, just say "Ok." and go inside and sit on the couch.
He comes in, sits on the couch on the far wall, and then 2 and 1 start talking again.
I get up, say "I have school tomorrow. I'm gonna go." and then I just leave without even looking at either of them.
When I got home, I felt kinda bad for just leaving like that, so I call him to apologize and say that I feel like he's being stupid about all of this (which I wanted to say on the porch but couldn't) and that he didn't even give it a fair chance. I mean, come on. 3 days??? Wth. So I call him. He answers. I lose it. I can't even talk. I just start crying, say "I can't talk right now..." and hang up on him.
I gain composure. Call again, say what I wanted to in the above paragraph, and he says, "Abby, I'd just end up using you for sex, and I don't want to do that to you. It's not about chances..." with that I'm just pissed and I hang up on him again.
Two days pass and he calls to ask me how I'm doing. Omg. I'm a total mess, right? I can't go on... I might just kill myself... NOT. So yeah... I get over it, still think he's an idiot, and get on with life. He still wants to be friends, hang out, etc. Which I'm up for, I just felt weird about it since now all I wanted to do was kiss him, etc. That feeling passes, though.
After that, we did hang out. Only, he's still playing the flirt card while we're watching movies and stuff. Don't tell me we can't be more than friends, and then hold my hand, play with my hair, etc. What a hypocrite. At first I kind of enjoyed it, because I thought maybe that meant he re-thought everything and realized he was being stupid. But no... Wrong again. Then I started feeling like maybe he was the type of guy to use girls all the time and I stopped flirting back.
There's my story. Now any time I hang out with 2, 1 is there, so I'm a third wheel. Which is...gay. Last time he didn't even tell me that 1 was going to be there. But whatever... boys... psh... lol
3. School
I dropped my accounting class, not a moment too soon because I didn't even need it. I have a 3.0, which is awesome because now I get to keep my scholarship. I can't wait to graduate, anddddd that's all I want to say about school. Haha
4. Friends
Lots of people coming home for the holidays. Very exciting because some of them I haven't seen in months. I missed them. And now we're having a reunion! Woo!
5. Concerts
Lots of those coming up. Some past too. I went and saw Jimmy Eat World again on the 30th? of October. This month I'm seeing Michael W. Smith, and in December I'll be seeing Spitalfield, the Graduate, and Hot Rod Circuit (their last tour... *cries*) - I saw Hot Rod one other time before this one, and they were nothing short of amazing. I saw the Graduate at Warped Tour this past summer, and they were really good, I've never seen Spitalfield but I do like some of their music. And I've never seen MWS.
6. Work
I'm still currently out of a job. Which sucks. I have no money. Lots of people owe me money but I'm not one to hound people about it. I might bring it up now and then, but I'm never like "Give me my money you freak!" lol
Sooooo.... yeah.
I think that's good for now.
http://www.myspace.com/abbyfisher (if you're interested)
2. Boys. I'll give you the whole story. Bear with me.
I ended my "relations" with this one guy Andrew who lived in Fredrick. Things just weren't working out so well. What with the distance, and some "issues" I had... haha In any case, it wasn't working and we were both pretty mutual about the whole thing. Next thing I know, a good friend of mine, we'll call him the number "2," comes on to me basically rationalizing his feelings to me and saying that he feels like if he doesn't take a chance on it, he'll just end up regretting not doing anything later. I had always sort of had feelings for him, but never acted on them. He even asked me out once in high school, but I said no because he was on a lot of things in those days... He isn't now. Which is good for him. I'm happy he decided to stop. Anyway, at that point I figure, "Okay, we're dating." We hang out after that, and things are looking good. I'm happy with him, he seems happy with me, we're both happy, right? Well... no. After three days of this "bliss" im hanging out with 2 and his friend "1" - that makes me "3" (this'll be important later). So 1 gets up to go to the bathroom and 2 is next to me on the couch. He turns to me and says "I don't think it's a good idea..." And I say "What's not a good idea?" And he says "Dating..." I just give him this blank stare because that totally threw me. I didn't see it coming at all. 1 starts to come back from the bathroom and 2 says "Do you want to talk about this outside?" I say, "yes" and we go out on the porch.
I couldn't even look at him. I was just staring at my feet. It was cold, and I was just confused, and getting a bit upset by this point because I couldn't understand how anyone could just waste something like that and put the whole thing to rest after only 3 days. So to the best of my ability I'll tell you what he told me.
Basically, he told me that he didn't want to ruin a perfectly good friendship, he could only ever really see me as a "friend", he didn't want to hurt me, he said I'd end up getting frustrated with him and that would just be "who he was" (I'm already frustrated with you, babe.), everything after that that he said was kind of lost in my mind because I was so confused and it just felt so surreal at the time. Because that was the first time I had ever been "dumped."
Anyway, he finishes his rant and then turns to me and say "Do you have anything to say?"
I look up, just say "Ok." and go inside and sit on the couch.
He comes in, sits on the couch on the far wall, and then 2 and 1 start talking again.
I get up, say "I have school tomorrow. I'm gonna go." and then I just leave without even looking at either of them.
When I got home, I felt kinda bad for just leaving like that, so I call him to apologize and say that I feel like he's being stupid about all of this (which I wanted to say on the porch but couldn't) and that he didn't even give it a fair chance. I mean, come on. 3 days??? Wth. So I call him. He answers. I lose it. I can't even talk. I just start crying, say "I can't talk right now..." and hang up on him.
I gain composure. Call again, say what I wanted to in the above paragraph, and he says, "Abby, I'd just end up using you for sex, and I don't want to do that to you. It's not about chances..." with that I'm just pissed and I hang up on him again.
Two days pass and he calls to ask me how I'm doing. Omg. I'm a total mess, right? I can't go on... I might just kill myself... NOT. So yeah... I get over it, still think he's an idiot, and get on with life. He still wants to be friends, hang out, etc. Which I'm up for, I just felt weird about it since now all I wanted to do was kiss him, etc. That feeling passes, though.
After that, we did hang out. Only, he's still playing the flirt card while we're watching movies and stuff. Don't tell me we can't be more than friends, and then hold my hand, play with my hair, etc. What a hypocrite. At first I kind of enjoyed it, because I thought maybe that meant he re-thought everything and realized he was being stupid. But no... Wrong again. Then I started feeling like maybe he was the type of guy to use girls all the time and I stopped flirting back.
There's my story. Now any time I hang out with 2, 1 is there, so I'm a third wheel. Which is...gay. Last time he didn't even tell me that 1 was going to be there. But whatever... boys... psh... lol
3. School
I dropped my accounting class, not a moment too soon because I didn't even need it. I have a 3.0, which is awesome because now I get to keep my scholarship. I can't wait to graduate, anddddd that's all I want to say about school. Haha
4. Friends
Lots of people coming home for the holidays. Very exciting because some of them I haven't seen in months. I missed them. And now we're having a reunion! Woo!
5. Concerts
Lots of those coming up. Some past too. I went and saw Jimmy Eat World again on the 30th? of October. This month I'm seeing Michael W. Smith, and in December I'll be seeing Spitalfield, the Graduate, and Hot Rod Circuit (their last tour... *cries*) - I saw Hot Rod one other time before this one, and they were nothing short of amazing. I saw the Graduate at Warped Tour this past summer, and they were really good, I've never seen Spitalfield but I do like some of their music. And I've never seen MWS.
6. Work
I'm still currently out of a job. Which sucks. I have no money. Lots of people owe me money but I'm not one to hound people about it. I might bring it up now and then, but I'm never like "Give me my money you freak!" lol
Sooooo.... yeah.
I think that's good for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
